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The dreaded swimming lesson has commenced last Tuesday.
Day 1: Breathing, Bubbling and Floating
I am just probably good at hiding the panicked look on my face. In reality, I was close to wailing as the instructor never got in the water to ease us and become comfortable in water. I felt I needed some coaxing into the water, a bit of telling me what to actually expect and give some assurances or at least make me relax. I needed her to be beside me in the water. None of that happened. The instructor simply told us where to get down on the pool while she's comfortably sitting at the edge.
I had to tell her I have a great fear of submerging my head in the water. She has to know that, although by the looks of things, she didn't have to be guessing for long. The bubbling and breathing part, I got that. I only felt the slightest fear as she told us to take deep breaths, submerge and exhale through the nose. I tried to haggle if it was alright to breathe out through the mouth because I am more comfortable with that. She told me to practice with my nose, so I did that. I have to learn properly and not insist on what is easier or more comfortable. I figured that much. Free-styling comes in the later parts of the lessons, not during the basic drills.
Bubbling was easy. Next, we took in deep breaths, this time holding it under water for about 10 seconds. So far so good. I can even hold it longer than that but I'm not there to show off my holding-your-breath skills so again, I just did what was instructed. All that time with the breathing exercises, I had my eyes closed. I realized that it was a bit of a torture (more a mental one) to be robbed of two senses simultaneously, even for just a few seconds. But I held off using my goggles for the meantime so that it would be easier to rub the water off my face when I emerge on the surface.
Next step, she told us to grab the side of the pool, and do the holding your breath routine, this time attempting to make the body float. Uh-oh. I have never learned to float on my own. Vivid memories came to mind. Years before, whenever I try to ask a friend to teach me how to do it, I only float because she's holding my belly to keep me steady. The moment she takes her hands off, you would see me thrashing in the water, panic gripping me so hard I didn't have the sense to just stand up and get my head out of the water. I was that pathetic or funny, as you choose to see it. But for me, the fear is very real.
So when the instructor told us to let our bodies float, it took me a while to finally feel my feet and legs rising up and leveling with the rest of my body. She said the air in my lungs keeps me afloat so the moment I breathe out, I would sink. I'm good with sinking hehehe. I didn't stop doing that drill until I was less afraid with the sense that I am still partially submerged, but floating nevertheless. The moment I felt the water carrying me, I was ecstatic and I would have stayed in that position, forever savoring the feel of floating, but I couldn't hold my breath that long.
Okay, so I know how to float face down...but not totally free. I'm still holding to the pool gutter. So when our instructor told us to let go, my hands wouldn't. And I tell you, I have a good firm grip where any threat to my existence is felt hehehe. I'm just glad she let me do things on my own pace. So when I finally had the courage to float freely, she encouraged me to just keep practicing that and not pushing me to do other things. For the rest of the time, it was a battle of wits once again as I slowly eased my hands off the gutter. At some point, I thought my fingertips was just a hair's breadth from the tiles so I thought it was okay if I had another surge of panic attack, I could just grab hold of the gutter again. Good thing my feet were quicker than my hands or I would have been flailing my hands again because I floated far enough that I couldn't grab hold of anything but water.
I'm still learning how to transition properly from floating to standing up. I was told I need to fold my knees at the same time then stand up, but I always have my left leg initiating the action with my right leg catching up. I'll figure it out but I've already made quite a progress.
Whew! So, I survived day 1 and it wasn't that bad, even for a panic-stricken adult student like me. I do realize that the key is obeying what the instructor tells you to do but more importantly, it is for me to let go of my fears. I still struggle with that but I hope that my determination is much stronger and I would slowly build up my confidence one breath, one stroke at a time.
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